Re: [HoE] I gots a problem

[John Higginbotham <cloudshaper2k@yahoo.com>]

     Okay, first up, keep in mind that I've only got a
few months experience with this subject. On the other
hand, it's first hand experience since my wife is one
of the players in the Weird West game I run.

     1.) YES! Let her play! Your group is okay with
it, you've promised to be fair and not play favorites.
You've lucked out and found a female gamer, not just a
Gamer Girlfriend. There's a major difference.
     A female gamer already knows about role playing
or other games and can therefore readily participate
without being bored or disinterested. This is
something the two of you can share and can help build
the relationship. The primary things to keep in mind
is that both of you have to understand and accept that
as long as you're at the gaming table, the
relationship is player and Marshal NOT boyfriend and
girlfriend. That means she has to respect your
decisions as much (in fact, MORE) than the rest of the
players.
     A Gamer Girlfriend, on the other hand, never had
any interest in role playing before the dating
relationship started. Now, she's involved because
she's trying to understand something about you. The
majority of the time, she's going to start resenting
the gaming because it draws your attention away from
her. Very rarely, a Gamer Girlfriend will turn into a
female gamer, but that's the exception, not the rule.
You've lucked out in that this isn't the case.
     Now, before the game, talk to her and make an
agreement that while the game is going on, there are
no PDAs (public displays of affection). First, at some
stages of a relationship, they can be quite revolting
to your friends. Second, it automatically implies
favoritism. As a gamer, she should be able to
understand this (and an extra helping of affection
later should offset this). Stick to this, and that'll
solve half the possible accusations of favoritism
right there.
     Second, make a deliberate point of treating her
like any other player at the table. Don't give her any
more or less attention than you do anyone else. More
attention will alienate your other players. Less will
wreck your relationship faster than you can say
"Honey, I'm sorry."

     2.) Well, as has been pointed out, that gives her
a +6 to Persuasion rolls. Don't emphasize why and let
the players figure out how the character's interact.
Keep in mind the normal rules of good player
cooperation, and you should be fine.

=====
John Higginbotham 
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
cloudshaper2k@yahoo.com 
jahiggin@starlink.com
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