[PyrNet-L] Fw: My Puppy's Dictionary

["Barb Bowes" <bamb@monmouth.com>]

Thought you all might enjoy this.

Barb Bowes
Bo, Molly, Chelsea (Pyrs) & Flopsy (Pyr Shep)
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
bamb@monmouth.com

>
>
>   LEASH:
>    A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead
your person
>    where you want him/her to go.
>
>   DOG BED:
>    Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the
guest room
>    or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
>
>   DROOL:
>    Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To
do this
>    properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and
let the
>    drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
>
>   SNIFF:
>     A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place
your nose as
>    close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale
deeply, repeat
>    several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can
also be done
> to
>    human's crotches.
>
>   GARBAGE CAN:
>    A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
your
>    ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push
the lid off
>    with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with
margarine wrappers
>    to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
>
>    BICYCLES:
>     Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control
body fat.
>     To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush
and dash out,
> bark
>     loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then
swerves and
>     falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
>
>   DEAFNESS:
>    This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want
them in and
>    they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at
the person, then
>    running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
>
>   THUNDER:
>    This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans
remain
>    amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to
warn them of
>    the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling
your eyes wildly,
>    and following at their heels.
>
>   WASTEBASKET:
>    This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old
candy wrappers.
>    When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the
papers all over the
>    house until your person comes home
>
>   SOFAS:
>    Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is
polite to
>    run up
>    and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
>
>   BATH:
>    This is a process by which the humans drench the floor,
walls and
>    themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and
frequently.
>
>   BUMP:
>    The best way to get your human's attention when they are
drinking a
>    fresh cup of coffee or tea.
>
>   GOOSE BUMP:
>     A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump
doesn't get
>     the attention you require..... especially effective when
combined with The
>     Sniff. See above.
>
>   LOVE:
>     Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
>     restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag
your tail.
>     If you're lucky, a human will love you in return. If not,
you can always
>     sniff their crotches.
>