[PyrNet-L] DOG RULES

["Joy McCarron" <joym@monmouth.com>]

I thought everyone might enjoy these "rules".

****************** D A I L Y  C H U C K L E **************

 

Dog Rules, Simplified For Humans (Part I)

Visitors:

Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge
across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this
person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts
crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

Barking:

Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark
-- a lot.  Your owners will be very happy to hear you
protecting their house.  Especially late at night while they
are sleeping safely in their beds.

There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep
waking up in the middle of the night hearing you protective
bark, bark, bark...

Licking:

Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately
before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be
ready to fetch your human a towel.

Holes:

Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard
and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all
over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little
pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think
it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground.

Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.