[pyrnet] Fw: THINGS DOGS MUST TRY TO REMEMBER

["Carrie Coffman" <carriecoffman@erols.com>]

Subject: THINGS DOGS MUST TRY TO REMEMBER

>
> **The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even though I haven't
> gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
>
>
>
> **I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under
> the coffee table.
>
>
>
> **I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
>
>
>
> **I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
>
>
>
> **I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
>
>
>
> **I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
> in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
>
>
>
> **I will not throw up in the car.
>
>
> **I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
>
>
>
> **I will not lick my human's face after eating animal dung.
>
>
>
> **"Kitty box crunchies" are not food!
>
>
>
> **I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the
> backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
>
>
>
> **The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>
>
>
> **I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
> on the toilet.
>
>
>
> **I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.


> **I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
> or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
>
>
>
> **I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my
> people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it.
>
>
>
> **When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled
> down when it's raining outside.
>
>
>
> **We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear
> one on TV.
>
>
>
> **I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the
> back yard with it.
>
>
>
> **The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.  (I don't
think the Pyr's will ever get that down.) :-)
>
>
>
> **My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
>
>
> **I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
> driver's license and car registration.
>
>
>
> **I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is
> carrying her coffee, so she won't trip over me.
>
>
>
> **I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat
> someone's food if they leave it for just a moment.
>
>
>
> **I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen
> so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don't want to stay outside
> for more than 2 minutes.
>
>
>
> **I will not chase the cat and knock over breakable things in the
> process.
>
>
>
> **I will allow Mom and Dad some room and covers when we go to bed.
>