[pyrnet] CHAT: "Breed" Standard ;-)

["Tracy Bassett" <espinay@dynamite.com.au>]

I hope people don't mind me forwarding this on.  It gave me a good laugh and
I thought you might enjoy it :-).

Tracy Bassett
Canberra, Australia
espinay@dynamite.com.au
visit my webpage at http://members.dynamite.com.au/espinay/index.htm

Breed Standard for a Pumpkin

General Appearance-Round and orange. The history of the pumpkin goes back to
ancient times. Pumpkins appeared in the drawings of the ancient Egyptians,
often next to dogs that have been described variously as obvious ancestors
of either the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel or the Pharaoh Hound. The
pumpkins claim to ancient origin is also upheld by its mention in great
classics of literature such as Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater and Cinderella.

As befitting such an ancient and storied gourd, the pumpkin should present
an impression of size, shell strength and graceful symmetry to the observer.

Size, Proportion, Substance- The bigger the better sums up the question of
size nicely. Proportion is most important as the stately gourd should sit
firm and stable while presenting an easily carveable face. Pumpkins are
filled with a rather stringy, orange substance. This should be removed
before showing.

Head - Pumpkin expression is left open to the whim of the carver. Plain
triangle eyes and nose to be severely penalized.

Neck, Topline, Fore and Hindquarters - Pumpkins possessing any of these
features must be disqualified. Judges will call for an exorcist at their
discretion.

Color - A shiny, deep orange the color of the University of Tennessee
Football team uniform is most desired.  Pale, washed out color to be
severely penalized.

Gait - a pumpkin of proper balance and proportion will roll with smoothness
and grace. Out of round movement to be penalized to the extent it
interferes with being stolen by vagrant teens, rolled down the driveway, and
smashed to smithereens on the road.

Temperament -The pumpkin is a stoic and stationary fruit, not given to fits
of needless exercise.