[pyrnet] FW: CHAT: Dog Ads

["Robyn Allwright" <ziffanyrobyn@earthlink.net>]

A friend sent me this one -- gee, I think I recognise some of these

> > > Subject: Dog Ads
> > >
> > > "WHAT THE DOG ADS SAY.............. AND WHAT THEY REALLY
> > > MEAN.................
> > >
> > >
> > > Noted Judge: He put up my dog.
> > > Respected Judge: He put up my dog twice.
> > > Shown sparingly: Only when the judge was in our pocket.
> > > Show prospect: Four legs, two ears, two eyes.
> > > Finished CH in 5 shows: and 89 others where he didn't place.
> > > Limited showing: The handler is suing to collect his fee.
> > > Pointed: Head like a carrot.
> > > Owner-handled to title: Big pro handler got first 14 points, first 2
> > > CCs.
> > > Won in heavy competition: All were 20 pounds overweight.
> > > Multiple group winner: At two puppy matches.
> > > Guaranteed to finish: If you have $10,000 to spend.
> > > Specialist Judge: Puts up anything that looks like his old pooch.
> > > Well-Balanced: Straight as a stick, front and rear.
> > > Lots of Pizzazz: When he's had his uppers.
> > > Super showman: Hysterical.
> > > Terrific angulation: Cow-hocks, east-west front and rear.
> > > Excels in soundness: Bears absolutely no resemblance to his breed.
> > > Excels in type and style: Moves like a spider on speed.
> > > Personality plus: Wakes up if you stick liver up his nose.
> > > A showing fool: Hysterical, and stupid, too.
> > > Large-boned: Built like a Clydesdale.
> > > Good bite: Missed the judge, but got the steward.
> > > Excels in movement: Outruns anything this side of the Concorde.
> > > Lovely head: Two eyes, two ears, one nose.
> > > Gorgeous coat: If the spray doesn't war off in the ring.
> > > Handled exclusively by: Nobody else can get near him.
> > > Won in stern competition: Beat 4 puppies and a 10-year old.
> > > At stud to approved bitches: Bring your checkbook.
> > > Great line-breeding: Ch. Whatsit is twice in the 5th generation.
> > > Good hip background: Haven't heard about any limping dogs.
> > > Obedience prospect: Just don't bring him near the breed ring.
> > > Great stud dog: Will breed anything from the neighbor's cat on up."

--- Robyn Allwright
--- ziffanyrobyn@earthlink.net
--- Ziffany Great Pyrenees