[pyrnet] CHAT: For Dog Owners (a bit of humor)

["Barb Bowes" <bamb@monmouth.com>]

Received this from a friend, so thought I would pass it on...

> >     "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot
> >     about puppies."
> >         Gene Hill
> >
> >     "Dogs feel very strongly that they should
> >     always go with you in the car, in case the need
> >     should arise for them to bark violently at
> >     nothing right in your ear."
> >         Dave Barry
> >
> >     "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's
> >     best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to
> >     read."
> >         Groucho Marx.
> >
> >     "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the
> >     constant popularity of dogs."
> >         Aldous Huxley
> >
> >     "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
> >     and to turn around three times before lying
> >     down."
> >         Robert Benchley
> >
> >     "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why
> >     you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend
> >     their lives."
> >         Sue Murphy
> >
> >     "Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic
> >     insomniac who stays up all night wondering if
> >     there really is a Dog?"
> >         Unknown
> >
> >     "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get
> >     all nervous and give the wrong answers."
> >         Unknown
> >
> >     "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are
> >     cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
> >     themselves."
> >         August Strindberg
> >
> >     "No animal should ever jump up on the
> >     dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain
> >     that he can hold his own in the conversation."
> >         Fran Lebowitz
> >
> >     "Ever consider what they must think of us? I
> >     mean, here we come back from a grocery store
> >     with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half
> >     a cow. They must think we're the greatest
> >     hunters on earth!"
> >         Anne Tyler
> >
> >     "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are
> >     members of a weird religious cult."
> >         Rita Rudner
> >
> >     "My dog is worried about the economy because
> >     Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost
> >     $7.00 in dog money."
> >         Joe Weinstein
> >
> >     "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is
> >     that certain dogs I have known will go to
> >     heaven, and very, very few persons."
> >         James Thurber
> >
> >     "You enter into a certain amount of madness
> >     when you marry a person with pets."
> >         Nora Ephron
> >
> >     "Don't accept your dog's admiration as
> >     conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
> >         Ann Landers
> >
> >     "Women and cats will do as they please and
> >     men and dogs should relax and get used to the
> >     idea."
> >         Robert A. Heinlein
> >
> >     "In order to keep a true perspective of one's
> >     importance, everyone should have a dog that
> >     will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
> >         Dereke Bruce
> >
> >     "Of all the things I miss from veterinary
> >     practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond
> >     memories!"
> >         Dr. Tom Cat
> >
> >     "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a
> >     puppy licking your face."
> >         Ben Williams
> >
> >     "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog
> >     has a problem."
> >         Edward Abbey
> >
> >     "Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done
> >     wrong, always try to make it look like the dog
> >     did it."
> >         Unknown
> >
> >     "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it
> >     won't buy the wag of his tail."
> >         Unknown
> >
> >     "No one appreciates the very special genius of
> >     your conversation as the dog does."
> >         Christopher Morley
> >
> >     "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you
> >     more than he loves himself."
> >         Josh Billings
> >
> >     "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
> >         Holbrook Jackson
> >
> >     "The average dog is a nicer person than the
> >     average person."
> >         Andrew A. Rooney
> >
> >     "He is your friend, your partner, your defender,
> >     your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader.
> >     He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last
> >     beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be
> >     worthy of such devotion"
> >         Unknown
> >
> >     "Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit,
> >     you would stay out and your dog would go in."
> >         Mark Twain
> >
> >     "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and
>      cat are not the better for it."
>          Abraham Lincoln
>
>      "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I
>      die I want to go where they went."
>          Unknown
>
>     "If you pick up a starving dog and make him
>      prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
>      principal difference between a dog and a man."
>          Mark Twain
>
>      "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually
>      unnoticed by a Great Dane."
>          Smiley Blanton
>
>      "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly
>      vanishing look of amazed contempt,and I am
>      convinced that basically dogs think humans are
>      nuts."
>          John Steinbeck

Barb Bowes
Bo & Chelsea (Pyrs), Flopsy (Pyr Shep) & Machin (Doxie)
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
bamb@monmouth.com