Re: [pyrnet] Pyr Chow

["Gordon Crump" <hermit@duo-county.com>]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Julie Johnston" <raven4luck@home.com>
To: <pyrnet-l@pyrnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2001 1:32 PM
Subject: Re: [pyrnet] Pyr Chow


> Gordon - I am never going to eat a tomato from Mexico again!  I'm
picturing
> you like Jed Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies - all grizzled,
wearing a
> hat and torn jeans, and carrying a wealth of knowledge.  Oh, and
with a long
> piece of grass or  hay out the corner of your mouth.  ;-)/
>
> Julie
=========>
  You pretty well have me figured out, Julie.  Actually.
I don't wear overalls, but blue jeans and flannel shirts in winter and
castaway anything in summer. I wear boots, with spurs sometime, though
I sold my horse. (Loved her, but that sucker ate $40 worth of food at
a whack.) Naturally, I am extremely handsome, with thick hair,
skin under my clothes like velvet (hands and arms sunburned) and what
folks here call 'a looker.'  Don't drink, smoke or gamble, don't do
drugs, don't vote Democrat,
and have a lovely personality, even at 4 a.m.  I can make hook rugs,
fix delicious tacos, cook the world's best cornbread (every day). I
can preserve, can, smoke, cure,
dry, freeze and preserve underground. I pay my taxes,
(under protest, of course) once loved a girl named Eudora, have
escaped the diseases injurious (and downright embarrassing) that
afflict many,Have studied for most of my life what gives a woman
pleasure and I hold the Mae Houston award for Lover of the Year. That
is the big one, but I hold gold star designations from a former Breck
girl and a third place winner in the Miss
America contest.
   My main thing is doing just what I am doing, practicing hermitry in
the woods, and feeling every new day a blessing, not more frustration.
It can only happen out here, not in the concrete jungle.
   I have thought of taking another wife,and I have decided to hold
national auditions in October. They should be light packers (no more
than an overnight bag), bring momma's permission, if necessary, plus
write a 500 word essay on
why men shed pheromones when they don't mean to.
   You may nominate as many candidates as you wish.
Or none, as you prefer.
   The winner will not only get me, in all my staunch hermithood, but
will have her own personal Pyr and 500 pounds of chopped liver to feed
it. She will get three free
dairy goats and 16 comfrey plans to start her a crop.  I will give her
the corner off my ginseng map and help her dig it.
If she ever leaves me, I will insist that the ginseng corner be
returned.  In the old West, a guy gave his best girl a fancy
saddle,but she was not permitted to keep it, if they broke up.  Same
thing here.  It would be sad if she kept it, and I one day found some
strange man digging my sang.
   Thanks for the message. Julie.  Sorry I got carried away.
But the only  other exciting thing to happen today was my installation
of the Amish Country screen saver from
www.countrylife.net

Hermit in the Woods, using a puddle to comb his pretty hair.  And
without taking the blade of grass (blade?) from his seductive lips.