RE: [HoE] Milrats/MREs(was: Longevity)

[Allan Seyberth <darious@darious.com>]

>    MREs are pre-packaged, pre-sorted meals designed for one person.  
>They have high calorie content, and were designed so that only one need 
>to be eaten per day in order to survive.  In Army Ranger school, it is 
>required you can only eat one MRE a day.  

Yup.  Let me emphasize something - one a day in Ranger school!!!  One.

The black and green beanie schools (Ranger and Special Forces,
respectively) are considered so tough that in an ego filled machismo laced
environment like the Army, failure is not considered shameful.  The soldier
in your unit that tried out for these schools and came back in two months
because he couldn't hack it was not dogged for failing - but more like he
was moderatly respected for having made it for two months.

That's what happened to a sergent I knew.  I swear, when he came back two
months later he had the body fat percentage of an olympic athlete.

MRE's are also lovingly called Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.  During the
big food-aid era in the '80s, the Army sent over MREs.  They were so
calorie rich that they were causing severe internal problems.  (The
probable urban myth I had heard said they caused stomach ruptures).  
We called 'em that for the taste.

An MRE is hard to describe unless you've eaten one.  Take your average
small brown sack - the kind that are used for small purchases at
convienence stores - about 12in x 6in x 4 in.  Now crimp both ends so that
there is a 1/2 inch seal.  The resulting volume is the food put into the bag.

It usually consists of  a "main" dish.  Dehydrated beef and pork patties
(maybe 5in x 3in x 1/2in - called Beef/Pork cookies) were in great demand
and usually ones of the first to go out of a box. Another popular one was
slab o'  processed ham block in salt water.   The alternatives were worse,
ending with the dreaded Chicken-Ala-King (lovingly called
Chicken-Ala-Puke).  There was a side dish or a desert of some sort.  Either
a slab o' dough called officially called a "cookie" that was suspiciously
like leftover Christmas Fruitcake.  A couple of the MREs came with a
"candy-bar" that was in great demand - these were usually found in the ones
that had loser main components (except for chicken-ala-puke - that one just
sucked all around).  A couple of vacumn sealed crackers about 4in x 4in x
1/3in - flavorless, of course and either a package of "peanut butter",
"jelly" or "cheese spread".  A condiment bag with gum of dubious chemical
properties, a package of freeze dried coffee strong and harsh enough to
substitute for Baron LaCroix's zombie juice, and some various non-edibles
like a napkin/toilet paper square, spork, salt, etc. etc.

MRE's were so concentrated, or there were chemicals in them, that one
usually didn't have to undergo a bowel movement but once every four days.

I'm still surprised that people buy cases of this for $60-$100 on the open
market.  Maybe they are getting the later generations of MREs - the kind
that was being phased in as I got out of the Army.  The (probably
apocryphal) story I heard about these later MREs was that the design team
(nutricionists <sp>, engineers and other such types involved in creating
and stuffing three meals of food in one small bag capable of sitting in
storage for years)  gave the General in charge of the MRE contract their
latest devolpments and ideas. 
	This General (may Zeus raise him into a constellation)  was wise enough to
require the design team to live off of them for a week before he accepted
the contract.

	The design team came back with a much better series of MREs after that week.

On the original subject - the "popularization" of MREs may have actually
reduced their shelf life.  The name brand candy tastes better fresh, but
after awhile they go bad - leaving you worse off if you happened to get a
case that was sitting around for awhile.

On other notes:

C rations were the precursor to MREs.  They were basically tins of food
(afaik).

K rations were, in the words of a friend and Vietnam Vet, were "human dog
biscits."  High energy .... well, dog biscits.  Made for stuffing several
into a small bag before you go on extended patrol.  Not meant to be a real
meal, but far better then nothing.

T rations are still used in the Army (as of four years ago).  They are
large tins of food, about 18in x 9in x 3in and they are used by the field
kitchens.   Basically, you boil the tin (if it requires it) until it is
hot, use a can opener and serve to the grunts.  Yummy.
-------------------
Allan Seyberth
darious@darious.com

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.