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[PyrNet-L] Fwd: Doggy Dictionary



<< ** DOGGY DICTIONARY **
 LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
 person
 where you want him/her to go.
 DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest
 room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
 DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this
 properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool
 fall
 to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
 SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as
 close as you can to the other dog s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat
 several
 times, or until your person makes you stop.
 GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
 your
 ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off
 with
 your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with
 margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of
 bread.
 BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body
 fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash
 out,
 bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and
 falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
 DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them
 in
 and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person,
 then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
 THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain
 amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
 danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and
 following at their heels.
 WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy
 wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all
 over the house until your person comes home
 SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to
 run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
 BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and
 themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
 LEAN:  Every good dogs's response to the command "sit !", especially if
 your
 person is dressed for an evening out.  Incredibly effective before
 black-tie
 events.
 BUMP:  The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a
 fresh cup of coffee or tea.
 GOOSE BUMP:  A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump
 doesn't
 get the attention you require. Especially effective when combined  with The
 Sniff.  See above.
 LOVE:  Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
 restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If
 you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
  >>
found this in my e-mail box hope you like it thought it was hinda cute

Joan
Rumor  you mean white hair REALLY dosnt go with black
Timmy  see I told you all along that it was a napkin

---- Begin included message ----

-


** DOGGY DICTIONARY **
LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
person
where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest
room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this
properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool
fall
to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as
close as you can to the other dog s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat
several
times, or until your person makes you stop.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
your
ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off
with
your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with
margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of
bread.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body
fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash
out,
bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and
falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them
in
and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person,
then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain
amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and
following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy
wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all
over the house until your person comes home
SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to
run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and
themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
LEAN:  Every good dogs's response to the command "sit !", especially if
your
person is dressed for an evening out.  Incredibly effective before
black-tie
events.
BUMP:  The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a
fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP:  A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump
doesn't
get the attention you require. Especially effective when combined  with The
Sniff.  See above.
LOVE:  Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If
you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
---- End included message ----