This really does not apply to Tibbies but a friend sent this to me so I'm
passing it on
Gill in NZ
---------------------- Forwarded by Gill
Mathieson/WilsonandHorton/NZHERALD/NZ on 09/24/98 10:21 AM
---------------------------
Melville Intermediate School <Melville.Intermediate@xtra.co.nz> on 09/24/98
10:16:04 AM
To: Gill Mathieson/WilsonandHorton/NZHERALD/NZ
cc:
Subject: Big dogs
You know you own a BIG dog when...
- the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell,
"OUTSIDE!"
- you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a
chair.
- it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets
.
- you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have
no
idea who these people are.
- you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in
your
crotch.
- you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty.
- your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things)
fully
inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What?
I'm
not eating anything!"
- you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new
vehicle.
- you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room
of your
house.
- after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom
still keeps
you awake.
- you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought
to
have an environmental impact statement done on your dog.
- visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively.
- you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his
head on
the top of the doorway.
- you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your
arm,
causing you to make random right turns.
- you have given up on water dishes and you just use the
bathtub.
- your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up
pulling
the ceiling fan down -- for the second time.
- you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your
dog wants
a drink.
- you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the
first
person you point out is your dog.
- while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car
rocks back
and forth because the dog is panting out the window.
- you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on
the
ceiling.
- you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a
saddle for
that thing?"
- the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.
- your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool,
build a
large home, buy jet skis and a personal plan.
- you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the
dishes are
in the sink.
- the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when
you get
home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.
- your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist
you in
the preparation.
- you're holding him straddled between your legs when the
doorbell
rings, and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the
front
door.
- the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of
the
sidewalk.
- your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his
head in
the drive-through window at McDonalds's and nearly gives the
cashier a
heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.
- you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the
program
when he stands in front of the television.
- after surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise
around the
vet's office-- pulling the rolling IV stand behind him.