[PyrNet-L] : A PYRS GUIDE

[clhenke@juno.com]

>1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
>Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets.
>This is especially good if it's right before your humans' bedtime.
>
>2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your
>ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done
>something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the
>house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works
>when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
>
>3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly.  When
>the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly about.
>
>4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go potty, sniff
>around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you
>choose to go potty will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
>
>5. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and
>make the humans take you out for your morning potty. As soon as you get
>back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after
>going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
>
>6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every
>time a strange human walks by.
>
>7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing
>fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
>
>8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them
>at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something
>terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans
>is panic-stricken and close to tears).
>
>9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time.
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