[PyrNet-L] CHAT: Dog stuff

["Barb Bowes" <bamb@monmouth.com>]

Thought you all might enjoy this!

Barb Bowes
Bo, Molly, Chelsea (Pyrs) & Flopsy (Pyr Shep)
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!
bamb@monmouth.com

Mind Games Dogs Play with Humans

After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM
TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry
yourself off on the sheets.  This is especially good
if it's right before your humans bedtime.

Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come
home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin
down and act as if you have done something really bad.
Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house
for the damage they think you have caused.
(Note: This only works when you have done absolutely
nothing wrong.)

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it
perfectly.  Then the humans try to demonstrate it to
someone else, stare blankly back at the humans.
Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go
'pee,' sniff around the entire yard as your humans
wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will
ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk
always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go
'poo.' Take your time and make sure everyone watches.
This works particularly well if your humans have
forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

When out for a walk, alternate between choking and
coughing every time a strange human walks by.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick
when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and
chase it once in a while.

Hide from your humans. When your humans come home,
don't greet them at the door.  Instead, hide from
them, and make them think something terrible has
happened to you.  (Don't reappear until one of your
humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

When your human calls you to come back in, always take
your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the
door.

Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set
to go off and make the humans take you out for your
morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall
asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back to sleep after
going outside, this will drive them nuts!)