[pyrnet] CHAT: I've Learned...

["Robyn Allwright" <ziffanyrobyn@earthlink.net>]

My friend sent me this, and with the show season starting in earnest, I
thought we could all have a laugh.

> > >- I'VE LEARNED -
> > >
> > >I've learned that if you wear gold lame shoes while showing
> > >your dog, no one
> > >will remember the dog but they'll never forget your feet.
> > >
> > >I've learned that everyone else looks like their dog, not
> > >me.
> > >
> > >I've learned that the most attractive outfits, the ones that
> > >make you look
> > >15 lbs. lighter and three inches taller, don't come with
> > >pockets.
> > >
> > >I've learned that the words, "Congratulations, you have the
> > >better dog,"
> > >doesn't sound anything like those words when you clench your
> > >teeth and
> > >swallow your tongue as you say them.
> > >
> > >I've learned that if the words, "Congratulations, you have
> > >the better dog,"
> > >are said to you, they're never said loud enough.
> > >
> > >I've learned that your dog's performance in the ring is
> > >directly related to
> > >whether or not you have friends coming to watch you. Just
> > >how badly you and
> > >your dog do has everything to do with how many witnesses are
> > >present to
> > >watch you.
> > >
> > >I've learned that there IS no graceful way to recover from a
> > >fall in the
> > >ring when your dress flies over your head and catches on
> > >your front teeth.
> > >
> > >I've learned that when you have a dog that's on a winning
> > >tear, you
> > >suddenly have friends who are people you don't know.
> > >
> > >I've learned that when you make a major mistake in the ring,
> > >clutching at
> > >your chest and yelling, "It's the big one" doesn't fool
> > >anyone, least of all
> > >your dog who only looks embarrassed.
> > >
> > >I've learned that W.C.Fields had it right when he said to
> > >avoid working next
> > >to children because they steal the show.
> > >
> > >I've learned never to tell a judge they have food in their
> > >teeth,
> > >particularly when they're examining your dog's bite.
> > >
> > >I've learned that some judges have no sense of humor.
> > >
> > >I've learned that large dogs make fools of people unused to
> > >showing a dog of
> > >that size while toy dogs are quickly dispatched by people
> > >accustomed to
> > >showing a far bigger dog.
> > >
> > >I've learned that next to needlepoint stores, dog show
> > >vendors are the most
> > >trusting when it comes to taking personal checks.
> > >
> > >I've learned that picking up your own dog's waste with a
> > >skimpy paper towel
> > >isn't as revolting as picking up someone else's dog waste
> > >with a front end
> > >loader.  [THIS IS MY FAVORITE]
> > >
> > >My dogs have learned that someone else's bait is always
> > >tastier than what I
> > >give them.
> > >
> > >I've learned that the very best parking spaces have orange
> > >cones saving them
> > >for someone else.
> > >
> > >I've learned that orange cones crush pretty easily.
> > >
> > >I've found that the very best people - and the very worst -
> > >can be found in
> > >our sport.
> > >
> 
> 



--- Robyn Allwright
--- ziffanyrobyn@earthlink.net
--- Ziffany Great Pyrenees