[pyrnet] Could this be your dog? (Humor)

["Barb Bowes" <bamb@monmouth.com>]

PGDS (Pleasing Gene Deficiency Syndrome)

The American dog behaviour scientist, Dr. Peter D. Wooffer
recently described PGDS in his thesis. It's a condition which
primarily affects Great Pyrenees.

PGDS is found to a certain degree in some other breeds, but it is
most common in Pyrs. On a weighted scale from 1 to 10 (1 being
the
lowest), three well-known breeds have the following ratings:

Labrador/retrievers 0.5
Poodles 2.1
Great Pyrenees 9.9

SYMPTOMS

PGDS results in a strong disinclination to obey even simple
commands like returning to owner during outdoor activities
without leash. The condition is aggravated by factors such as:

- Yorkshire terriers at large
- Passing pizza delivery men
- Ongoing excavation work
- Postmen with dog biscuits in their pockets (as required by the
Postal Regulation and known by any Pyr)- Blackbirds in the mood

PGDS can also be seen indoors, particularly right after eating
when owner approaches dog with wet cloth to remove food debris
from face. A typical evasive action follows which can be
attributed directly to PGDS.

IS IT THE REAL THING?

PGDS can easily be mistaken for deafness, but there are
significant differences. Use this simple test: Open a bag of
salted peanuts at approx. 800 yards from the dog. If the dog
appears within approx. 5
seconds, deafness can usually be ruled out.

As opposed to a deaf dog, a PGDS-ridden dog usually eyeballs the
owner for a short moment before changing course or resuming
previous
activity.

PGDS is not related to the IQ of the dog in any way. In 1996, Dr.
Wooffer demonstrated in an experiment at Brussels University
(Brussels,
Arizona), that Great Pyrenees displaying typical symptoms of PGDS
were able to solve quadratic equations and understand commands in
contemporary Norwegian.

Certain critics of Dr. Wooffer's work have suggested that PGDS is
simply another name for disobedience, but this has never been
scientifically proven.

WHAT DO I DO IF MY DOG HAS PGDS?

PGDS is not contagious but it is hereditary. You should notify
the kennel that your dog is afflicted with PGDS so they can take
it into account when planning future breeding. It is doubtful
whether you
will receive any compensation; most breeders will try to reject
the claim for damages by arguing that it's a characteristic of
the breed.

When PGDS has been diagnosed you must try to continue everyday
life as best you can. Most Pyr owners are excellent at explaining
away the
peculiar behaviour of their dog. The following sentences might
prove useful:

- It hasn't taken a proper run in 3 weeks
- It is suffering from a rare disease
- It is still only a puppy
- It is deaf...

Your contribution?

We are trying to gather as much information as possible on this
serious condition. If you have made some interesting observations
about PGDS in
your Great Pyrenees, please send us an email so that we can add
them to this page for the benefit of other worried Pyr owners.