[PyrNet-L] Chat: Dog Haiku

[EandUnge@aol.com]

My neighbor sent this to me.  I found it rather amusing.

Dog Haikus 

 I love my master;
 Thus I perfume myself with
 This long-rotten squirrel.
 
 I lie belly-up
 In the sunshine, happier than
 You ever will be.
 
 Today I sniffed 
 Many dog behinds--I celebrate
 By kissing your face.
 
 I sound the alarm!
 Paper boy--come to kill us all--
 Look!  Look!  Look!  Look!  Look!
 
 I sound the alarm!
 Garbage man--come to kill us all--
 Look!  Look!  Look!  Look!  Look!
 
 I lift my leg and
 Whiz on each bush.  Hello, Spot--
 Sniff this and weep.
 
 My human is home!
 I am so ecstatic I have
 Made a puddle.
 
 I hate my choke chain--
 Look, World, they strangle me! Ack
 Ack ack ack ack ack!
 
 Sleeping here, my chin
 On your foot--no greater bliss--well,
 Maybe catching rats.
 
 Look in my eyes and
 Deny it.  No human could
 Love you as much as I do.
 
 The cat is not all
 Bad--she fills the litter box
 With Tootsie Rolls.
 
 Dig under fence--why?
 Because it's there.  Because it's
 There.  Because it's there.
 
 I am your best friend,
 Now, always, and especially
 When you are eating.
 
 My owners' mood is
 Romantic--I lie near their
 Feet.  I fart a big one.

 Elisa Ungerman
Sacramento