[PyrNet-L] sleeping arrangements

["Tracy Bassett" <espinay@dynamite.com.au>]

I thought all of you with bed-luvvin Pyrs might get a kick out of this :-)
I can certainly relate to a lot of it! LOL!.  Oh, and when you get to rule
number 3, I have one starer, one romper, and one who has replaced the sneeze
with (what else!) the Pyr paw! :-).  Sort of have all bases covered, don't
they! LOL!

Tracy Bassett
Canberra, Australia
espinay@dynamite.com.au
visit my webpage at http://members.dynamite.com.au/espinay/index.htm

Whoever said "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs. :o)

The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is the
striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.

Rule Number One: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog. Most people who
sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy
equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate part
of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until
they have achieved the center position on the bed - with all covers
carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The stretch and roll method is
very effective in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes
preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and,
with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to
the floor.

Rule Number Two: Dogs possess superhuman strength while on a bed. As you
cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup begins
to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible. Once that quiets
down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed
becomes a battlefield and playground of canine fantasy. It starts out with a
bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking
howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail.  The horror of this
wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your
pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone
cap.

Rule Number Three: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog. The night
creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog.
The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh sleeps breathing
heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, it's dawn and the heap stirs. Each
dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may
position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever
dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your face, or they could
romp all over your sleeping bodies - or the ever-loving insertion of a
tongue in an unsuspecting ear.

Rule Number Four: When the dog wakes - you wake. So, why do we put up with
this? There's no sane reason.  Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a
pack heaps together at night - safe, contented, heavy and loud.


----Author Unknown